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Biblical Christians, however, are called to think differently.

We are to use Scripture as the measure of our desires.

The world tells us that the way to know whether two people are "right for each other" is to measure the white-hot physical attraction between the two, combined with the idea of "chemistry" on steroids — their ability to effortlessly have day-long conversations anytime about anything, punctuated by the quick, witty exchanges found mostly in edgy independent comedies.

In our culture — and in many churches — "attraction," whether purely physical or "chemistry-related," is considered the foundational way to evaluate a potential marriage relationship.

I am dating a guy, we started with emails and then a few more weeks of talking on the phone.

But if this is the foundation of a relationship, commitment is often trumped by chemistry and loyalty is often replaced with lust.

At the end of the first date I decided to have a second date just because he was the sweetest guy and really fun… He has everything I was looking for in a guy but physically he’s just not my type.

Now we have been dating for a few months and I still don’t feel attracted to him. Sometimes I think that I need to be thankful for the qualities he has instead for what he doesn’t have. Do you think that I should continue dating and see what happens? Dear C, You have a very common question, and a common dilemma.

For most of us, attraction is something we only discover when we meet someone in person, and it often has precious little to do with looks. I’m sure we all know people who weren’t even a blip on our radar to start with, but who became incredibly attractive once we got to know them, thanks to their confidence, manner, humour and warmth.

Likewise, we all know people who are extremely good-looking, yet don’t float our boat at all – maybe they come across as cold or negative or uninteresting, or that indefinable spark is simply missing.

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