Friends for years before dating
Then later, as some times goes by, suddenly, you begin to notice all these fantastic qualities about them that you didn't know existed, and boom! You're looking for your friend to get ahead by looking out for his best interest. Some people are on their best behavior until they cross the threshold. But your true nature will surface when you're a person's friend first.When you're true friends from the beginning, you don't have to pretend." I don't disagree with anything Cornish says, but why does she make it seem like honesty, kindness and respect are only inherent in friendships, not in romance?We rarely criticize our friends or put them down in public, and we often take our time to listen to them and understand their perspective, even if we think they're wrong. The likeability factor is derived from catering to each other's wants and needs just out of kindness or thoughtfulness, which increases someone's platonic feelings toward another person.It would make sense, then, that the person for whom you already do all of these things would make the best relationship partner. The desirability factor is derived from the absence of those things, which ferments that kind of desire that reflects the old adage, “You want what you can't have.”If one of these is more present than the other in the relationship, the relationship will fail.Three very, very different things that are handled three very, very different ways, but at least you know! He's not going to take you to some crappy hellhole you hate on your first date.
During my semester abroad in college, I went on a trip to Rome with my best guy friend, and I can guarantee you neither of us felt a spark or tried to make “love” happen, even when we were admiring the Colosseum together or eating spaghetti and drinking wine under the dim lights of romantic outdoor restaurants.This person already likes you for who you are, so now you just have to move forward with them.By being friends first, you will probably already know about each other’s past relationships, childhood memories, likes and dislikes. Yeah, he remembers all of that and it scarred his brain and now he will not so much as come close to licking your face ever or being a total dick out of nowhere, don't you worry. You know all about his issues with his ex, so you're not wondering what he likes and doesn't like. You already trust him, which makes you, like, 80 percent less nail-bitingly nervous about everything. The guy who slept with you and then stopped calling you for no reason?