Ten rules for dating my son

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

And I have zero desire to still be raising them when they’re in their twenties and thirties. Or whatever age these “protective” parents think is the right age to release their beloved offspring into the wild.

You could be a Nigerian Prince for all Aunt Sally knows!

Today, because we live in the FUTURE we have left behind such primitive tools.

Let me elaborate, when it comes to my daughter, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.” I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.